Ungrateful

I feel like so many people are so ungrateful. It is so easy to complain and point out everything you think is wrong with your life. So easy to be petty and be angry at people and at the world. But there are always people who have it way worse than you. People who would not know what to say if they had everything you had and probably cry tears of joy.

I think that we need to reevaluate everything we have and just simply be thankful to be blessed with another day of life and a roof over our heads. Something as simple as having multiple meals to eat everyday, we so easily take for granted. I sometimes feel bad when I reject a meal because I say I don’t like it because I know someone out there is starving and would love nothing more than the meal I just refused to eat.

It’s really crazy to think about how fortunate you are compared to other people. There are so many things that I am thankful for that I just don’t say it enough. I am extremely blessed and it makes me sad to think about how much I can complain about little things when there are people who find ways to be happy with what little they have.

I feel selfish at times. I have so much. I don’t say thank you enough. I’m quick to look at what’s wrong. But I do realize that I am blessed. I try to appreciate all the opportunities I’ve been given and take full advantage of them. That’s like my way of saying thank you. Making something of myself. Using my time productively. Maybe that’s why I’m such a busy body. Maybe that’s why I feel like I always have to be doing something. I just don’t want to waste the opportunity.

So from the bottom of my heart, to anyone who has ever given me anything or helped with anything, thank you. Thank you for believing in me enough to provide me with whatever that was and believe that I have definitely tried my best not to put it to waste.

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Why Do Guys Hate Commitment?

RELEVANT!

FMGM

*Excuse me while I rant for a moment.

boys ugh

While I was at work the other day, I overheard two of my co-workers talking about one of their friends and his relationship issues.  Apparently this guy started exclusively dating a girl after just 5 days of knowing each other, and two weeks later, “he doesn’t feel like he wants to do it anymore.”  Um, I’m sorry, what?  Why do guys do that?  Why do they get themselves into “relationships” and “commit” and then all of a sudden bail on us?

sucky person

I’ve dealt with the idiocy of many, many boys and I swear that it only gets worse as they get older.  They never know what they want, but then they bitch at us and claim that we’re the hard ones to deal with.  Yes, sometimes us ladies are complicated.  We can go from crying, to pissed off, to loving, to just wanting…

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The Beginning

You know that feeling you get when you first start talking to someone and everything they say makes you smile and as soon as you hear their name you get butterflies in your stomach and kind of start to blush? Isn’t it like the best feeling ever?

Everything is so new and you’re excited to learn everything about that person. You want to know what they like, what they dislike, what makes them angry, what makes them smile. Everything. You want to figure out the way they think so that you can anticipate their next move and have the upper hand or just be able to give them something to be happy about. You pretty much do everything in your power to get to know that person on a deeper level when you’re interested.

The beginning of something new is always so nice; because it’s new. There are so many what ifs that you are free to fantasize as you please and create the best situations possible in your head. But that can lead to dangerous territory because you may fantasize something that is unrealistic. But when you have something new that is seemingly too good to be true you kind of tend to try to find a fault in it. Life has taught us that there is nothing perfect in this world, so your seemingly perfect new relationship, acquaintance, attraction, or whatever you want to call it cannot really be that perfect.

That leads us to worry and to speculate about what could possibly be wrong with the situation or the person. You feel the need to analyze it all to figure out it’s weak spot. But you have to learn to let that go. Live in the moment. Enjoy this new-found happiness. Allow yourself to revel in it. There’s no harm in enjoying what’s in front of you. Stop thinking about the future or where it may lead or even what could happen next. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show; because if that person is making you feel as giddy as I imagine, the show will be one worth watching. Except you won’t be watching, you’ll be living through the excitement then replaying it in your head like a little schoolgirl later (c’mon, you can’t deny that).

There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting yourself feel happy about someone’s company or allowing someone to make you smile no matter what your relationship past is like. Some people may have a hard time believing that what others say to them is genuine because of prior experiences, but you should not let prior, now irrelevant relationships dictate the direction of your new one.

You’ll regret not having given it a shot more than you will regret anything you may do with that person. At least if you do what you please you can know that you were living in the moment and won’t look back on your life going “what if.” That’s the worst.

So enjoy the new feelings. Enjoy the smiles. Enjoy the laughs. But most of all, enjoy the moment.

They’re Going To Judge You Anyway

Webster’s dictionary defines the verb “judge” as “to form an opinion about (something or someone) after careful thought;” but that is not what happens in this day and age. People judge you automatically without much thought at all. They give you one look and assume they already know your life.

Our society is so judgmental that people are afraid to do things just for the fear of being judged by others or put into a category they know they don’t belong. It’s actually sad to see hoe many people refrain from being themselves for the sake of not being judged by others.

Well I say, stop caring. Don’t worry about what other people think about you. You know what you are and you know what you are not. You know what you don and what you don’t do. You can’t live your life worrying about what others think of you because then you’re never going to be happy. Say as you please and do as you please. They’re going to judge you for it either way.

If you go through life trying to please everyone else you won’t get to do what you want to do. Worry about yourself and about what puts a smile on your face. If you feel like singing out loud to your favorite song while walking down the street, do it. Don’t have the most soothing voice? Who cares? It’s not like later on in life people are going to be like “oh yeah, that one guy/girl ruined my day with their awful singing.” Want to randomly do a little dance? Go for it! You only have one life to live so take advantage of every moment!

Be carefree. Those who judge you automatically are not meant to be close to you in life. You have no reason to try to please they. They are providing you with no benefit. You will be much happier listening to yourself than stressing over their judgments. Now I’m not saying to act like a fool all the time or anything of the sort, but I do not believe that you should be changing your personality so that others will look at you differently. Like I said, if they don’t like you for who you really are then they should not really matter to you. Whoever does not accept you as you should be irrelevant.

So do as you please; they’re going to judge you anyway.

Sneaking Around

secret

There is literally no feeling like “we’re not supposed to be doing this.” Whether it’s breaking a rule at school or work, wandering into seemingly uncharted areas, or doing something you know you really shouldn’t be doing with someone, there’s a sort of adrenaline that rushes through you that’s exciting and addictive.

Somehow it always feels so right when you’re doing something that’s supposed to be so wrong. Why does human nature work that way? Do we crave danger or breaking the rules? Do we all have a secret adrenaline junkie within us ready to come out when given the opportunity?

I have always been one to follow the rules and play by the book. But as I got older I realized a few things and I learned that not all type of sneaking around are bad. There is a stigma that if you’re sneaking around you’re probably doing something you shouldn’t be doing, but I’ve come to the personal conclusion that that’s a stigma set by society, and if the majority of society thought otherwise, that stigma could be changed.

Sneaking around isn’t always bad. What you are doing may not even call for sneaking around but you do it anyway. Why? To avoid other people’s opinions and interference. Another reason? Because having a secret that no one else knows about gives you a sense of power. You feel like you have the upper hand somehow because you know something they don’t. It’s honestly just fun, and most of  the time it could be harmless.

Take me and my friends in college for example. At night we tend to wander off on campus and just walk around. No open door goes unexplored and we try to get into every supposed restricted area possible. That’s not really a bad thing. But we still have to hide from security even though the worst that could happen is them probably telling us to go back to our rooms. It’s just fun to do something you’re technically not supposed to be doing.

And at work, when you go off on an errand that you know you can complete in a short amount of time but you end up taking two to three times as long because you escape somewhere for a while, there’s really no harm done; and you feel great because you just pulled that off. Again, that’s that power that sneaking around kind of makes you feel.

When it comes to sneaking around with a person, whether it’s necessary or not, that has to be the most fun of all. Knowing that you could get caught at any time just makes things more exciting and makes you want it more. Maintaining that secret makes you feel dominant and in control because you are dictating what you want others to know or not know about you and your whereabouts.

So like I said, I don’t like the negative stigma that sneaking around gets because it could really just be innocent fun.

10 Tips On How To Make Your College Dorm Room Awesome

drom

We all know college dorm rooms aren’t always the best. But the best thing about them is that you get to personalize them and decorate your space however you want. I love love LOVE to decorate and will spend as much time as is necessary until things look the way I want them to look. I just moved in to campus yesterday (I’m a senior at Fordham University) for the summer since I am working for the football office all summer.

When I walked in the room was bare bones, as usual; a bed, a desk, a chair, and a shelf. That’s it. That’s all you get. That’s why it’s up to you to personalize your space and make it into a place you love. Here are a few tips on how to beautify your dorm room and make it feel like a home.

  1. First thing’s first, pick a theme of colors for your room. This is very important for the flow of everything and the overall feel that your room will have. You can choose two colors, three colors, or twenty colors, but as long as you stick to that theme when buying things for the dorm everything in your room will look like it belongs. I personally chose black, red, white, and grey, along with hints of blue for my room this summer.
  2. Buy a nice comforter and some fuzzy pillows that are in accordance with your color scheme. The pillows will make your room look super cozy and totally livable.
  3. Hang some posters of your favorite artists, actors, athletes, or movies that go with the colors you’ve chosen. You don’t have to be as strict with the colors here; it doesn’t matter if your posters have a little yellow and that’s not one of your main colors.
  4. You can also choose to hang a big flag to represent your country and show some patriotism. I’m super proud to be from the Dominican Republic so I have three differently sized Dominican flags in my room. Flags also draw a lot of attention and are conversation starters. Not to mention the fact that they are a great backdrop for a photo opp.
  5. Hang something from your window so that your room is easily identifiable to you and your friends. I personally hung a flag and put some gummy textured roses on the window. They looks really nice from the outside and now my friends know where to come yelling for me if need be 🙂
  6. Make a picture wall. Nothing makes you feel more at home than seeing some familiar faces everyday. I took some yarn and taped it to the wall in a draping pattern and hung close to 100 pictures up using paper clips. It was definitely a fun project that did take a while to perfect but I am so happy with the end result. And now when people walk into my room they automatically look for themselves on the wall and that starts great conversations reminiscing about good times.
  7. Depending on how spirited you are, you can hang some school banners or tack up some posters that show your school pride. I have tremendous school spirit and I’ll forever be #ProudToBeARam so my room definitely has a few Fordham banners.
  8. Another idea to make your room super cute is to hang some lights. You can do the typical Christmas lights like everyone else or you can go above and beyond like I did and get some decorative lights like the paper lamps I have in the picture. They look absolutely gorgeous at night and, of course, they are red just like my theme.
  9. If you want to go the extra mile you can hang things from the ceiling to make your room even more appealing. I hung some black and red paper fans from the ceiling using string and tape. This is effective and does not damage the ceiling in any way.
  10. Last but not least, the mini fridge. They can be so plain. I spiced mine up with some magnets of my favorite football team which is the New York Giants. Their color scheme just so happens to match with mine as well so that worked out well.

Bonus tip: Hang a dry erase board on the front of your door with a marker. You’ll laugh at many of the drawings and the comments that people will leave.

Making A Dream Board

I’ve read various articles about what steps to take from early on to be successful in the world and one of the most common things I found in all of the articles is the topic of the dream board. A dream board, also known as a vision board, is supposed to help you create set goals that will propel you towards the career and life that you want.

A dream board isn’t a to do list. A dream board is not a wish list. A dream board is a visual representation of everything we hope to one day achieve in life. So a dream board should not contain short term goals; it should contain pictures of what you want for the rest of your life. You have to go beyond just the material wants and think about the big picture, what you want to achieve.

The great thing about the dream board is that you can alter it as your ideas for your future change. You can add anything you want to the board at any given time, as well as remove anything that you feel is not an essential part of your future plan anymore. Even though your dream board is very flexible, make sure you think hard about what you want to put on it because when you see it on a daily basis you want to smile and know that your life is going to be pretty awesome based on the lifetime goals that you’ve set yourself.

After reading all the articles suggesting that a dream board would be helpful, I made one for myself and I am totally happy with it. I really think dream boards work, and there are a few reason why. First of all, when you take the time to make a dream board you force yourself to stop and think about what you really and truly want out of life. You disregard all the trivial wants and focus on end goals that will keep you happy. In our increasingly fast paced world, it is easy to get distracted and lose focus towards what we really want. A dream board allows you to look to make sure you are still headed in the right direction to fulfilling your ultimate dreams and desires.

Dream boards are effective because once you see your desires clearly in front of you, your energy becomes focused on putting your attention in the right direction that will lead you to all of the things that you want out of life.

Ideally, you should be looking at your dream board twice a day for at least 5 minutes to remind yourself why you do what you do on a daily basis. Make sure to place it somewhere where it’s clearly visible to you and where you pass it often during the day.

I love to look at my dream board because when I see it it makes me smile and I smile because I see that I can have an absolutely amazing life.

Here is a link to some instructions on how to create a dream board: http://christinekane.com/how-to-make-a-vision-board/#sthash.iqyBGaDf.dpbs